Dancing with Dogs: Prayer for Maverick fans

Prayer for Maverick fans

This is a very funny prayer written by one of the Mavs fans on Dallas-mavs.com last night. It wasn’t granted, but I found it really funny nonetheless.

Dear God,
I haven�t asked you for much over the years, but I come to you today to ask a special favor.

I know that the favors you grant are few and far between, so up till now I�ve been content to let you do your work without my input. And you have been kind over the years.

You gave us Mark Aguirre, Rolando Blackman, and Derek Harper. You gave us Roy Tarpley (for a while anyway, before you took him away). That cast made it to Game Seven of the Western Conference Finals. I wanted to ask you for a win that day, but I assumed you had already chosen the Lakers� side.

Through your infinite Wisdom, you forced us to suffer through the 1990�s. Though we didn�t know it at the time, we needed that experience. We needed to strengthen our commitment to the team, to fully appreciate the forgiveness and humility required of true fans.

You saw that we had suffered long enough, and then you granted us the Three J�s. In our foolishness and ungratefulness, we sinned against you. Intoxicated by our newfound richness, we became arrogant and unappreciative. We were undeserving of such a gift, and so you took the Three J�s away and punished us again.

You could have banished us from basketball heaven for good, but through deep love and grace you delivered us our savior: Michael Finley. You granted us an unproven point guard from Canada, and he flourished here. You sent a seven-foot marksman from Germany to assist in the cause. You showered us with the riches of Mark Cuban.

You watched your children grow, and you helped them out along the way. You gave Calvin Booth a miracle. You granted Nick Van Exel game-breaking ability for a few short weeks. You guided us once again to the Promised Land that is the Western Conference Finals.

When the big German injured his ankle against the Spurs, we turned our backs against you. We felt that you had let us down. And so you saddled us with Antoine Walker.

You could have made it even worse, but in your infinite grace you still protected your children. You gave us Josh Howard and Marquis Daniels. You gave us Small Ball. You gave us a chance.

Thank you so much, Dear God, for the gifts you have given. And now, may I ask of you a favor. Will you please be with the Spurs and Kings tonight? Will you please grant them the strength they need to defeat their enemies? Please, Dear God, if you could just grant this one little wish. If you could just do this one little thing for us.

Because I want to BEAT THE LAKERS� ASS in the playoffs!!!
Amen.

Well, I guess we can now change the prayer to say we want to kick Laker ass in the WCF ;) Update: Here is a later exchange of the Mavs fan quoted above with God about the unanswered prayers…

From: chumdawg@d-m.com To: God@God.com
Subject: my prayer from yesterday
God,

Thanks for nothing. I’ve long suspected that you were a Lakers fan.

Chumdawg

P.S. Your Lakers can run, but they cannot hide.

From: God@God.com
To: chumdawg@d-m.com
Subject: re: my prayer from yesterday

I forgive you, my son, for you know not what you ask…
The path of the righteous team is beset on all sides
By the inequities of playoff seeding and the tyranny of home court advantage.
Blessed is he who shepherds the Mavs through the Western Conference
For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of Marquis Daniels.
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger
Those who attempt to defeat and eliminate my Mavericks.
And you will know my name is the Lord
When I lay Small Ball upon thee.