perhaps sarcasm was intended …. no?

Lady, your blog is full of fake outrage. Cant you stop already raving and ranting about desi culture? as long as you bring up your kid the way you want, wtf should it bother you about the choices people make?

I agree with anya… it could’ve been sarcasm. But of course, I wasn’t there, so I cannot judge.

Nathan, I’ve been reading Shanti’s blog for a couple years now. My general impression is that she is very true to her vision of the world. Intellectually fake is the last thing she is.

And so what if she criticizes things she doesn’t like in desi culture? I mean, she is stating her opinion. She didn’t say that this woman had no right to hers….

I grew up hearing American culture criticized all the time (not by my parents, but other Indians). And the one thing I notices is: they can dish it out but the can’t take it.

And btw, I love desi culture. Absolutely love it. I just have enough confidence in myself that I don’t see criticism as a put down.

Anya and Sameer, I wish it were sarcasm - we actually ended up arguing the point there, so I can vouch for it she was pretty sincere in her beliefs.

Nathan, if you read my two years’ worth of blogging, you will see that there is a lot more than “fake outrage” in my posts. As for writing about desis, I write what I see. It isn’t my fault currently I am cooped up at work with a cube full of them.

One more thing, if I cannot write about other people, wouldn’t this blog be a diary instead? Just asking…

MD, thanks :)

Well in that case, I think she was a MCS!!

go figure!! :tongue3:

Nathan,
A small question - then wtf were you here?.

Hypocriscy is fascinating, it reveals more about the person than he is trying to hide!.

nathan, F*** off. And seems yanks, especially of the leftist variety do nothing but criticise theri own culture full time!!! What;s rong if Shanti points out the fault sin our Desi culture?

As an outsider, and not well versed in the culture supposedly being criticized, I do know that the thing that Shanti points out is not soley a problem with Desi culture.
It is present in all Eastern cultures.
I fight what she describes all the time because I was brought up to be “vredna” literally meaning “valuable”. Women/girls were only considered “vredne” if they cooked and cleaned and listened to what the men in the family told them.
I fight this and often fail because of the guilt instilled in me by my upbringing where even though I like and want the men in my life to do things for me…I still get that long old feeling that says: “You should be the one to get up…otherwise you are a lazy woman”.
Believe me, women are harder than men on other women who don’t keep a “clean house” or can’t “cook a good meal”, or “take care of the children”.
Believe me when I tell you that thousands of years of breeding this feeling cannot be wiped out in one generation.
We still have a long way to go as women.
Good topics you’re making me think about Shanti.
Thank you.

That indeed was downright medieval of the woman..but on similar lines, would men holding doors open for women be considered chauvinistic or degrading?

just throwing that out for discussion…

Radmila, it is absolutely amazing how you think some problem is uniquely your own until you come across someone who is facing the exact some thing. I guess this is a lot more of a woman-on-woman problem than I thought it could be.

Patrix, personally I have absolutely no problem with men doing stuff for me - I think it is pretty flattering even, sometimes. But then if I happen to reach the door before a man who is coming after me, I usually hold the door for him, so I think it is a nice give and take :)

Patrix: Men holding doors open for women by themselves is just being nice, but, if women expect that out of men then it is degrading. Sometimes, I let women hold doors open for me too. :tongue3:

Because there are such women, husbands still hack their wives to death for dowry.
On a lighter note, she must be a mutation, and mutation gives rise to change and evolution. Watch her closely in the future :beam:

Awww, Parag - you sound just like my husband. He keeps teasing me that I argue for equality in everything and then expect him to carry the heavy stuff and hold doors open for me :blush: (I never said I was perfect ;))

PF, I guess the future is here and it is her! :shocked: :beam:

Shanti,
It’s funny how progressive I thought I was, until 3 years into my marriage I realized that I had spoiled my husband.
We as women start this out of love…and then it becomes expected…and then the cycle begins.
When I was a young girl, I used to watch my auntie get on her hands and knees and shine my uncles shoes before he stepped out the door and vowed I would never be like her.
I am not like her, but there are aspects of her(and my mother’s generation) that are ingrained in me…the cleaning and the cooking.
These are the areas that we will continue to have a fight on our hands…our tolerance levels for dirt tend to be lower than many mens…LOL.

Hey I havent read much of your blog but kudos for takin the high road and not indulging in an argument with that jerk-off. Man I just wouldnt have been able to do that. I like you already ;) Cheers!

It’s not degrading to suggest that women should be in charge of food and drink, they tend to be somewhat better at it. It’s a mistake for women to overlook the power that comes with being the “server”.

Radmila, I did something similar to my husband too :)

Sir Rocks, thanks.

A friend, don’t say women are better with food and drink in the presence of our friend the “Mad Chef”. I personally think it is a stupid stereotype to say women cook better or “serve” better.

As for the power of a “server”, some may like it - some may not. I don’t appreciate someone expecting me to be a server just because I am a woman.

I don’t appreciate someone expecting me to be a server just because I am a woman


This point needs some emphasis. Just because certain things were done in certain ways at some point in time does not necessarily mean its either correct or should be sought after.

Exactly, Dilip - that is something that bothers me when people try to get me to do things that I don’t like, in the name of tradition.

Eeeessh.