Trust me, there is a reason people say two’s company and three’s crowd. When it is just the two of you, if there is a fight or any disagreement, you are forced to makeup soon since you get bored without the other person’s company. When there are other people in the equation, it gets easy to ignore your spouse/significant other for lengthy peroids of time since you have other people to talk to and interact with. The more this happens, the more distance builds up between the two of you till you don’t recognize each other anymore and are simply used to existing without each other and in the company of others. It gets easier and easier as time passes till you end up not needing each other anymore - a recipe for disaster. Catch the pattern and nip it in the bud. Do yourself a favor!
(This was something I just needed to get off my chest after a few incidents I have seen recently - the above advice is meant to be general and not in relation to any of the people I know).
Posted by shanti at March 26, 2005 12:14 PMTrackBack URL for this entry:
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:confused: very very true… i’d rather sort things out then n there rather than wait for the “perfect” time.. hate building it up. :-)
btw, chanced on ur blog from a reco on bloglines.. keep writing!!
Posted by: chikuado at March 28, 2005 3:43 AM
The last disclaimer more or less means what you intended. I hope the interference from this third person settles down.
Posted by: Anand at March 28, 2005 10:08 PM
You couldn’t be anymore right if you tried. There is too much made and put upon by ourselves and society to always be out with others.
If a couple learns to be self sufficient without the need ‘to be around others all the time or even some of the time’, then they are forced to fundementally respect ea. other for who and what they are about.
This leads to a lot less ambiguity on the relationships landscape.
Furthermore, if others like you said, ‘are too much in the picture’, a learned behavior of discounting the other more and more occurs and therefore, the relationship tends to suffer as a result.
Relying on each other as root friends before lovers is key to any relationship future. Deepseeded respect even in conflict, also fuels a relationships existence and health.
Relationship advice = don’t succomb to what society or even yourself thinks you should do as far a socialization goes. Blaze your own relationships trail. After all, if you conform and follow everyone elses relationship woes, you just might end up like half of the country, divoriced or broke up and at square one again.
Take Care and I love the insightful piece,
PS excellent writing
keep it up.
Sincerely,
Brian Maloney
Posted by: Brian Maloney relationship advice guy at June 8, 2005 1:37 PM