So, the pre-vacation started off pretty ominously for us…the house-sitter-to-be arrives the night before the vacation day (last night), leaves to bring her mom over, supposed to be back in 20 minutes….2 hours later, she is still not home and won’t pick up her cell phone. All I was thinking was - Where will i find another housesitter now? Is she dead? Will her mom take up for her dead daughter’s obligation to housesit for me so I can leave on vacation? Dang! I even paid her…
My thoughts didn’t have to get too gruesome, since she finally showed up wih mother in tow and we set off on our merry way…that is, until we got to the airport. We get through the security check and I almost breathed a sigh of relief when the security lady went, “Noooooo…not yet!”. Well, apparently they found some seriously forbidden articles in the carry-on. I was pretty sure all the weed and “coke” were checked in, so I had no idea what they could have found. After 15 minutes of rifling through my bras, my husband’s undies and my son’s diapers, the security woman triumphantly holds up two tubes - Aveeno, baby lotion and Bordreaux’s Butt Paste (my son’s diaper rash cream) - both things I had stuffed into the carry-on after a bleary-eyed diaper change that had met with much resistance. I had to steel my resolve to pretend not to hear my husband’s 100th “Didn’t I tell you no liquids!” and retort, “lotions are NOT liquids!”.
The flight itself was pretty uneventful until of course, we got into the line for Disney’s Magical Express and unfortunately happened to stand in front of Mr. & Mrs. Completely Ignorant Racial Profilers, USA. if you ever read this lady, a word of advice - don’t ever obviously lean and whisper into your husband’s ear while scaredly looking at terrorist couples with Mickey Mouse-obsessed toddlers….that too not every time you see them…just saying.
So, will we overcome the racist couple’s fear of our son every time he screams, “MICKEY MOUSE!”? Will my son’s rash cream-starved tushie be saved in time? Will we ever get to the so-called fun part of so-called vacations before the resort completely and totally bankrupts us with $10 Coronas?
Stay tuned!
Posted by shanti at August 31, 2006 1:42 PMTrackBack URL for this entry:
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