Stuck on Stupid!
Not one to lose an opportunity, we now have our line of “Don’t get stuck on stupid!” gear from Cafepress -
I gues it is that time of the week again, when I am completely captivated by random things - like the search queries that lead to my blog….
Here is one that I bet is going to raise my hit count by a zillion%….(hint, hover over the link to find out what it is - I really don’t want people hitting my blog with those keywords…don’t want to have too many horny guys getting upset at me ifyouknowwhatImean ;)
This one was something I guess I can be proud of - my blog mom (who has since disappeared into the ether of the blogosphere) really approved of…before she christened me her “potty-mouthed” blog-child…heh!
Whoever was searching for “girl beating up guy”, please wait till we capture enough non-gruesome videos of me beating up on the poor husband ;) It will be posted in the “pay-per-view” section of the blog.
Rohan, if you are still googling yourself - I have bad news for you man…my post still comes up…
Also, no! It is not wrong to wear a bindi…unless of course…you are a multicultural nut…then, you are forbidden. Your penance is to go grocery-shopping in your bikini.
Oh, here is an awesome post I found in the referer list - “Forced to depend” - I might post a deconstruction of this ridiculously traumatizing poem (it sucked so bad and was so juvenile, I was traumatized reading it) tomorrow. Is it really worth my time talking about another H4 spouse who doesn’t have her shit together enough to not marry an asshole who apparently doesn’t treat her well? Let me think about it.
Yeah, yeah - I know I am late by a day, but here is something fun that will let you forgive me easy…
Enjoy!
I wonder if my husband was not really lying when he blames all those electronic gadgets that appear mysteriously at our door step from ebay every month on our little one….hmmmm….
Toddler buys pink convertible on eBay | Tech News on ZDNetJack Neal briefly became the proud owner of a pink convertible car after he managed to buy it for 9,000 pounds ($17,000) on the Internet despite being only 3 years old. Jack’s mother told the BBC that she had left her password for the eBay auction site in her computer, and her son used the “Buy It Now” option to complete the purchase.
So, the pre-vacation started off pretty ominously for us…the house-sitter-to-be arrives the night before the vacation day (last night), leaves to bring her mom over, supposed to be back in 20 minutes….2 hours later, she is still not home and won’t pick up her cell phone. All I was thinking was - Where will i find another housesitter now? Is she dead? Will her mom take up for her dead daughter’s obligation to housesit for me so I can leave on vacation? Dang! I even paid her…
My thoughts didn’t have to get too gruesome, since she finally showed up wih mother in tow and we set off on our merry way…that is, until we got to the airport. We get through the security check and I almost breathed a sigh of relief when the security lady went, “Noooooo…not yet!”. Well, apparently they found some seriously forbidden articles in the carry-on. I was pretty sure all the weed and “coke” were checked in, so I had no idea what they could have found. After 15 minutes of rifling through my bras, my husband’s undies and my son’s diapers, the security woman triumphantly holds up two tubes - Aveeno, baby lotion and Bordreaux’s Butt Paste (my son’s diaper rash cream) - both things I had stuffed into the carry-on after a bleary-eyed diaper change that had met with much resistance. I had to steel my resolve to pretend not to hear my husband’s 100th “Didn’t I tell you no liquids!” and retort, “lotions are NOT liquids!”.
The flight itself was pretty uneventful until of course, we got into the line for Disney’s Magical Express and unfortunately happened to stand in front of Mr. & Mrs. Completely Ignorant Racial Profilers, USA. if you ever read this lady, a word of advice - don’t ever obviously lean and whisper into your husband’s ear while scaredly looking at terrorist couples with Mickey Mouse-obsessed toddlers….that too not every time you see them…just saying.
So, will we overcome the racist couple’s fear of our son every time he screams, “MICKEY MOUSE!”? Will my son’s rash cream-starved tushie be saved in time? Will we ever get to the so-called fun part of so-called vacations before the resort completely and totally bankrupts us with $10 Coronas?
Stay tuned!
I know, I know - you are all saying, she just got back from a really extended blog vacation - how could she possibly be going on another one? The previous one was what you can call a “working” vacation since I was really overloaded with work and so could not blog much. Tomorrow though, me, my husband and my little one are leaving to go to Orlando to the Disneyworld on a 5-day vacation. I might post some pictures regularly out here and on Flickr, so it isn’t like I am simply going to disappear :)
Wish me all fun and joy, people!
What do we need men for again? :p
Women could make spermA new scientific breakthrough may lead to women in future being able to produce sperm.
Scientists in England have turned stem cells from am embryo into sperm which are capable of producing offspring.
Are you low on traffic? Do you need to feel really relevant on the blogospheric scene? Want to make a name for yourself and get on the pages of Desipundit? Here is a how-to!
1. Memories, memories and more memories - the more childish, er, child-like, the better. Throw in a few relatives and a few more childhood friends for extra impact.
2. Write about how Indian policies suck. If that doesn’t work, whine about how Western people always point out that Indian policies suck. For bonus points, say Western policies suck even more.
3. If you are a man, write about how women are nuts and if you are a woman, write about how men are idiots. If not, try to write about reconciling the two sexes.
4. Bash someone. Even better, make sure they are a group of logic Nazis!
5. Whine about how Indianness is not being understood by the West.
6. Whine about West trying to understand and celebrate Indianness.
7. Whine about Western people asking too many questions in an attempt to understand your Indianness.
(Put your name in huge, big letters all over your blog to make sure they atleast get that right when they do decide to feature you!)
update: Here is an example post that illustrates my points and really, really should get linked ;)
A cool new restaurant in Madison, specializing in small plates. A tiny coq au vin in a crepe. A little risotto. A cold (!) omelette. A trio of tiny soups. It’s very dark in here, and very stylish:Somehow, the first thing that popped into my head when I read this Ann Althouse post - especially the part about “very dark and very stylish” - was Esme Squalor from Lemony Snicket’s “The Ersatz Elevator”. Remember darkness was in when the Baudelaire orphans first visit her and her extremely “in” cafe, the Salmonella… :)
I have been thinking of writing about the Lemony Snicket for a while now, so thanks Ann, for giving me an opening.
Anyone read the “Penultimate Peril” yet? My sister gave me and Amazon gift certificate for my last birthday that I bought the 11-book set with and thus started my journey into the miserable world of the Baudelaire orphans. I found the series funny, full of pop culture references and very engaging, if not a little repetetive. The biggest problem as I see it now with these books as compared to my Harry Potter collection is the “rereadability”. Every time there is a new HP book released, I read all the previous books to freshen up my mind about what happened so far. I love going back and reading those books. When I got the “Penultimate Peril” though, I thought of going back and reading “The Grim Grotto”, which was the 11th book and just could not get myself to do so. I guess the author’s warnings about how miserable the books are, are a bit true.
Not one to lose an opportunity, we now have our line of “Don’t get stuck on stupid!” gear from Cafepress -
To encourage me to spend a little more time on my blog, I went ahead and ordered up a nice little makeover for the site. E-Webscapes did a great job of trying to read my mind and they gave me this great design. Let me know what you guys think - more serious blogging to follow :)
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
That conversation probably started one of the most enduring cliches of our generation, that men and women cannot remain friends. It has been repeated ad nauseum in other movies and recently in Hum Tum to the point I feel like throwing up when I hear it. Personally, I don’t believe it. It has in fact been kind of the opposite for me - I sometimes have a crush on a cute guy, we get to talking and then we become good friends and the crush disappears. It has never happened to me (except with my husband, of course) where I started out friends with someone and then wanted to sleep with that person. To put it in a cliche, most of the time it was the friendship thing that got in the way of my crushes…What do you guys think?
Frank J takes on “blogs” and explains what you should know about them :)
IMAO: Know Thy Enemy: BlogsThere are these things called blogs out there run by salivating morons who work in lynch mobs to bring people down regardless of the facts. This seems like a dangerous new phenomenon, so I had my crack research staff find out all they could about blogs.Read all of it!
Who says we don’t listen to our commenters? Based on Al Mujahid’s suggestion, here is the place for you to post your favorite kinds of food and the restaurants where one can find it at. I think that would be great since it will give people ideas of new restaurants and foods to try - Comment away!
I will start -
Favorite food:
Thai food
Indian (South-Indian, Hyderabadi, especially).
Favorite restaurants -
Roy’s Hawaiian Cuisine (Plano) for the best Misoyaki Butter Fish ever (pricey place with $10 sakes)
Piman (Irving) for the best Thai food and shrimp wafers ever. Awesome Panang curry!
Pasand (Irving & Richardson) - for the best gulabjamun in Dallas!
Al-Markaz (Lewisville(?)) - Pakistani restaurant that makes really good lamb and chicken biriyanis. Very good Kadahi chicken!
I know The Velevet Hookah had been open for a while but my husband and I finally got some free time this Saturday, so we went there for dinner. A few of our friends had recommended this, so I was really pumped to go check it out. It was not too far from where we lived, so that meant we could get a little tipsy and still drive home safely. Anyways, here it goes -
Neighborhood - We thought we were lost by the time we came upon this place, it was located so out there. Nothing of interest around here - cannot walk or sit outside - we found out why once we went inside.
Ambience - The thing is, this place was more of a bar/nightclub minus the dance floor than a real restaurant. I know it was stupid of us to just rely on our friends’ word and not check it out in the Digital City guide. You need an ID to get in, so be sure to carry your wallets and purses with you - all of you. It was pretty dark inside and there was some good music with fast beats playing. They strung up a bunch of chiffon (I think) sarees all over the place to create a Middle-Eastern kind of look.
There are tables only in the bar area. The rest of the place has a a carpet you will be sitting on and a bunch of pillows that you can lean on. It can be quite uncomfortable, especially if you have on tight jeans like my husband did (heh!). It does feel quite cozy though I hated being almost shoulder-shoulder with the people sitting next to us. There just wasn’t enough room or private space.
Food and Drink - I was so hungry by the time we had showed up at the bar that I wanted to dig into something good right away. Unfortunately they served only appetizers, that too a limited variety. We ordered the chicken satay - three skewers with three chicken pieces on each, served with three apple slices, a few grapes, and soy sauce and spicy peanut sauce on the side - and some roasted red-pepper hummus. The food was good, but barely enough for the two of us.
I ordered the M3 which was really good and that was the only drink I had for the evening.
The Hookah - We ordered the menthol hookah, but I suspect they gave us a vanilla one initially by mistake. It was pretty mild and tasted kinda like the Vanilla Mints you get at the Starbucks. There was barely any smoke in it and I failed to see the fun of it. They replaced our hookah with a eral menthol one later and this was pretty strong. I liked menthol in my throat but the minute the smoke hit the back of my throat I was coughin so hard my husband was embarrassed to be seen with me. I guess there ended that experiment.
Overall, it was a pretty fun and different experience and I think we will definitely be going back. The bill was about $80 for 4 M3s, 4 Amstel Lights, 2 Chicken Satay and 1 roasted red pepper hummus, so it wasn’t that pricey. Check it out - you might like it.
Update: I forgot to mention there was belly dancing. They also charged us extra by $35 on our credit card and my husband is taking care of it right now - be careful!
So, this is what a feminist’s dog looks like? Pffft!
(Image from rhsager)
This is what realwomens’ dogs look like ;)
According to this study, I think it was a good thing I named my son “Neel” - it does rhyme with “Keith”…almost… ;)
via Dean Esmay
Boy, am I liking news these days! I wonder if the rule applies to red wine/ white wine or both…
Alcohol sharpens your brain, say researchersIt is news guaranteed to raise a cheer among those who enjoy a glass or two: drinking half a bottle of wine a day can make your brain work better, especially if you are a woman. Research to be published tomorrow by academics at University College London has found that those who even drink only one glass of wine a week have significantly sharper thought processes than teetotallers.
Real wording on the information booklet that somes with birth-control pills -
“Oral contraceptives must be discontinued three months before getting pregnant. Use alternative forms of contraception in those three months”.
No comment!
It is the weekend almost and if everything goes as planned, here are the movies atleast one of which I plan to watch…
—Spidey 2
— The Village
Anyone watched these? Any reviews ?(only spoiler-free ones, please!)
Ok, read the comment on this post - Dancing with Dogs: Lakers talking to Jenny Jones? - who am I supposed to be now?
If you thought it was just Yuvraj Singh I had a direct line to, check this out - Dancing with Dogs: A view from Pakistan. Seems like I know Pakistan’s General Musharraf too. Who knew!
THURSDAY, April 15 (HealthDayNews) — Love can be good for your heart — and not just the heart you read about in poems and Valentine’s Day cards. New research suggests close relationships help protect heart attack survivors against future cardiovascular problems.You know I love y’all, don’t you!
Via JK comes the link to this brand-new desi humor blog - The Banian! Check it out - we have our own Scrappleface among Desis now :)
As long as we are posting links, here is something to inspire Yazad, MadMan and Kingsley ;) Maybe you guys can co-found the Indian chapter of the organization…
True globalization of course, is James Lileks talking about Daler Mehndi in his bleat - LILEKS (James) The Bleat - not just talking about him, but bringing his name up with no introduction, just expecting everyone to be familiar with him and know him. Brings a smile to my face :)
In an operation worthy of a major movie, Guatemalan authorities have recovered an important Maya stone altar from looters.US archaeologists and Mayan villagers aided the six-month investigation, which led to several arrests. Three ringleaders will go on trial in January. Archaeologists are now deciphering the text, which they hope will help them understand the fall of Mayan civilisation shortly after it was engraved in 796 AD.
The altar was one of a pair at opposite ends of the royal ball field in the ruined city of Cancuén. It depicts a ritual ball game that symbolised an alliance between Taj Chan Ahk, the last and greatest in Cancuén’s long line of rulers, and another Maya king.
Read JK’s somewhat related column here…It was funny to see both the items juxtaposed ;)
Well, I really wanted to get back on track with my workouts, so I went directly to the gym from my work this Monday. I saw that I was just in time for this class called the Bodypump and a friend of mine had recommended this to me, so I went in. It was an hour of intense torture and my body is still sore, but boy, do I love the class! I am going in this evening again and hopefully this class twice a week with 30 minutes of walking the dogs on alternate days and Yoga/mat Pilates on Saturday, I am hoping to get back in shape ;) I feel so motivated right now :)
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday, Dear Ashwini!!
I hope you have a great time today and I wish you a wonderful year ahead!!! May you buy all the Harry Potter memorabilia you can get your hands on ;)
Why would Amazon recommend these books for my wishlist? Seriously, they are the only books they recommended. I swear all I bought from Amazon were the Harry Potters, some Linda Goodmans, some “Survivor” books and some Roald Dahls…
1. Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right
by Al Franken; Hardcover
8. Big Lies: The Right-Wing Propaganda Machine and How It Distorts the Truth
by Joe Conason (Author); Hardcover
11. Bushwhacked: Life in George W. Bush’s America
by Molly Ivins, Lou Dubose; Hardcover
17. What Liberal Media? The Truth About Bias and the News
by Eric Alterman; Hardcover
23. The Clinton Wars
by Sidney Blumenthal; Hardcover
24. Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot: And Other Observations
by Al Franken; Paperback
Vinos of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but the shackles of dieting ;)
Drink and be merry for tomorrow we shall liveFor those not keen on cutting calories, new research suggests tipping a bottle can be just as effective in attaining longer life. Molecules found in red wine have been shown to mirror the life-extending effects of calorie restriction, a finding that could lead to new treatments for age-related illness, and perhaps, a pill or potion to add years to the human lifespan.
Letters to the Editor - August, 2003 I have always been fascinated by letters to the editor. They give you a glimpse of what ordinary people from various walks of life think about news and news makers. But what if the news makers themselves wrote the letters?
An answer to the country’s out-sourcing woes? Check it out - Primate Programming™ Inc - Talent!
ScrappleFace: Powell Changes Speech at Last Minute to Satisfy Democrats
Oh My God, I am in tears of laughter after reading this extremely funny piece. Go read the whole thing.
France Surrenders to Texas High School -- 01/31/2003
Plagued by massive desertions and too-firm brie rations, the French army and Legion Etranger were ready to collapse by Thursday morning, but held out another 12 hours after receiving reinforcements from a group of 15 volunteer human shields from the United States.(link via On the Third Hand)
Led by filmmaker Michael Moore, the group vowed to "use our own bodies to block American high school imperialism and colonialism," and asked the French to "show us your solidarity with pastry, and some good butter."
That Saddam, he is a clever man, indeed - Iraq Joins 'Gang of 8' to Avoid 'Weasels' Association :):):)
Trust HappyFunPundit to give a State of Happy Fun Pundit Speech, and to analyze reaction shots for the speech!
Leave a comment here - let's have a campaign - We want comments!
Late Show with David Letterman:: Top Ten Signs Barbara Walters Is In Love With Fidel Castro
10. Her first question: “How’d you get so dreamy?”
9. Squeals like a schoolgirl every time he tortures a dissident
8. She’s wearing his varsity dictator jacket
7. Re-named her newsmagazine “Veinte/Veinte”
6. Told him, “You have led a violent overthrow of my heart”
5. Has same look Diane Sawyer had when she and Khomeini were dating
4. Breakfast, lunch and dinner: pulled pork
3. New sign-off line on “The View”: “Socialism or death”
2. When asking him about Camp X-Ray, she accidentally called it “Guantana-marry me”
1. The long, mangy beard hairs on her blouse
Our cricket correspondent’s Alanis Morisette Song (Note: this song was generated by the lyric generator - I did not write this, nor do I want to die. I have a lot more mischief to do for that…)-
“YWill to LiveY”
I feel miserable
Finances make me ill
I feel miserable
Debts tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Credit cards are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die
Is it because of financial situation that I feel this way?
With the black rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Or am I lost in tale of Shelley, adrift far from home
I don’t think so, I don’t think so.
Asha Broke My Will to Live
Asha Broke My Will to Live
Asha Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Asha Broke My Will to Live
I feel miserable
Car payments rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Mortgages defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Loans are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die
Is it because of financial situation that I feel this way?
With the black rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of Shelley, adrift far from home
I don’t think so, I don’t think so.
Asha Broke My Will to Live
Asha Broke My Will to Live
Oh God, Asha Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Asha Broke My Will to Live
This is my new blogchalk:
United States, TX, Carrollton, Dallas, English, Hindi, Shanti, Female, 26-30, Politics, Music. :)
Damian Penny has a very funny post describing the difference between various ideologies. My favorites -
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
I especially empathize with with the point he makes in one of the later paragraphs about how the immigration system currently works real hard to keep out the deserving people, while doing nothing about the gate-crashers. It really makes me mad that I have to jump through a dozen hoops before I can even become a permanent resident, when there are pols talking about legalizing illegal immigrants. At times, it makes me wonder if may be I would have a better chance at US residency if I were an illiterate border-crosser instead of a software engineer with a post-graduate degree trying to make a decent living in this country.
I Got Your Visa, Right Here
A very interesting article via the Spoons Experience - SENDING COMPUTER SIGNALS THROUGH YOUR BODY
Product ideas for the idea-challenged?
This is how they want us to market “Dancing with Dogs” - Dancing with dogs is a bar of soap that bounces! :-) Check out what it will suggest for your blog - The Prior-Art-O-Matic (link courtesy Tim Blair)
(Courtesy, Crosswalk)
“Competitive Salary” - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
“Join Our Fast Paced Company” - We have no time to train you.
“Casual Work Atmosphere” - We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up.
“Must be Deadline Oriented” - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.
“Some Overtime Required” - Some time each night, some time each weekend.
“Duties will Vary” - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
“Must have an Eye for Detail” - We have no quality control.
“Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience” - You will need to replace three people who just left.
“Problem Solving Skills a Must” - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven’t heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.
“Requires Team Leadership Skills” - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
“Good Communication Skills” - Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.
